Monday, May 14, 2012

Easy and hard

Some parts of moving to New Orleans have been really easy. Going there on vacation and eating tons of seafood was easy. Meeting new friends was easy. Getting a better apartment than we hoped for was easy. Deciphering when to tell our jobs we were leaving was hard.
I intended to tell my boss I would be leaving once I found out that we were actually getting housing. In my mind that was the most sure-fire approach because once we had housing this whole thing would be real. The problem is, I didn’t expect to find out about housing until late June.
When we found out last week that we got an apartment on campus we were thrilled but it really threw me for a loop about when to tell my boss. Late June was going to be perfect because it would be enough time to give a month’s notice.  Long enough to leave well but short enough to not be too uncomfortable. 
I think deep down I knew it was time to tell the minute we found out about housing but I didn’t want to face it. I really like my job and I have an amazing boss. The last thing I wanted was to disappoint him. He has invested a lot of time into training me and teaching me how to be a good therapist. His lessons have been golden. When I got my job I had every intention of staying at least 5 years. That is the impression I gave him when he hired me and that was something he was looking for. I knew the whole time that telling him about New Orleans would be the hardest part of the whole thing.
This morning in my quiet time I was really resistant to the Spirit leading me to go ahead and let my boss know today. I basically prayed that God would allow me to wait. He asks that of me so often anyway and I am so prone to jumping the gun. I assumed this would be my opportunity to show Him I could really do the waiting thing after all. He more or less said no. I read this verse which falls under a heading in my Bible that says “Paul’s change of plans,” how fitting.
We can say with confidence and a clear conscience that we have lived with a God-given holiness and sincerity in all our dealings. We have depended on God’s grace, not on our own human wisdom. That is how we have conducted ourselves before the world, and especially toward you. 2 Corinthians 1:12
At that point I had to stop denying what I knew I needed to do both ethically and to be in good-conscience. I decided I would talk to my boss today. Andrew decided he would too.
I was extremely nervous and felt way too unprepared for something as big as quitting my job. I just laid it all out there. I tried to be totally honest about the situation and not sugar-coat or over apologize, I’m really bad about that. For the most part, I think I did OK. What really blew my mid was my boss’ response.
He was the epitome of understanding and acceptance. I guess that’s the perk of having a therapist as a boss. He told me some really nice things that made me feel better about it and then he told me that it was a shame I was leaving when I had really started making a mark. That hit me pretty hard.
I was pleased to know that I was doing good work but something in me felt that the work was being abandoned prematurely.  I will have to trust God with that one. And with a host of other impacts I’m sure this move is bound to have.
I once heard Beth Moore say something to the effect of: “God deals with the consequences of our obedience to Him.” I know he will take care of my job… the work didn’t depend on me anyway.
Andrew’s experience with his boss went as well as it could have. He hated to see Andrew go but understood. Our last days will probably sometime around the end of July.  Our excitement still far outweighs the difficulty of today. I am thankful that the difficulties we face are so extraordinarily easy compared with many brothers and sisters around the world. I am thankful for a God who is faithful even to us. And I am thankful I can share it with you.

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